Simpsons Tapped Out: Squidport Quest Line Part 2

This entry is part [part not set] of 3 in the series Simpsons Tapped Out - Squidport

The next section of Quests for the Squidport expansion.

Sea Captain – Little girl, I need some supplies, where can an old salt get hands on rope and tarps?
Lisa – Are you going out to sea again?
SC – Nay, I’m going to an Adele concert and wanted to unfurl a sign that says I heart her. I’ve got bad seats so it has to be a big one.
L – Well, the boardwalk used to have a place that sold camping supplies.
SC – And it shall again. Fall on, men — the cheap seats await!

Squidport Pt. 7
Have Boardwalk Sections – 0/8 – price and build times vary
Build Malaria Zone – 0/1 – 47500, 24 hours

Bart – What kind of store is this? Thermal underwear, waterproof matches, flares… Oh my God! This stuff is awesome!
B – Fire starter, extra long forks, something that turns pee into drinking water? Why haven’t I always been shopping here?!

MALARIA ZONE QUEST:

A Flair for Exploration Pt. 1
Make Bart Buy Flares – 0/1 – 4 hours, 175c, 45xp

Bart – A boy and his explosives. Is there anything more American?

A Flair for Exploration Pt. 2
Make Bart Set Off Flares in the Brown House – 0/1 – 12 hours, 420c, 100xp

END MALARIA ZONE QUESTS:

Sea Captain – Y’arr! The boardwalk is coming ’round nicely, but still there’s something missing.
Flanders – Mr. Captain, sir? If I could offer a suggestion… a spruce or two could really, well, spruce things up!
SC – That’s it exactly, matey! You gay men always have the best design advice.
F – Oh, I’m not a homosexual.
SC – Neither am I, wink-wink! Now let’s get to decorating, girlfriend!

Squidport Pt. 8
Have Boardwalk Lampost – 0/1 – 450c
Have Boardwalk Trees – 0/3 – 385c
Have Boardwalk Fences – 0/5 – 270c

Sea Captain – Now, me hearties, bring her about and get her braced in a broach and ye can lay to that!
SC – Because… um, at three balls… as the crow flies… er… sextant…
Lisa – Is everything okay, Sea Captain?
SC – I’ve been running out of nautical jargon to pepper me conversation with. Which is hard because, ye know, it’s my thing.
L – You could pick up jargon from classic tales of the sea like, “Treasure Island” or “Moby Dick”.
SC – Brilliant! You’re like one of them, ye know, light… buildings that shine for boats and stuff when the weather is… not good…
SC – Y’arr, I’d best get to readin’.

The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 3
Make Sea Captain Read Nautical Literature – 0/1 – 24 hours, 600c, 150xp

Sea Captain – Y’arr! I’ve learned a thing or three in me travels. Things I’d like ta share with the good folk o’ Springfield.
SC – Mayhaps a cultural imports store.
Lisa – It’s so wonderful that you want to expose people to the crafts and cultures of distant peoples!
SC – N’arr, I jest want to fleece tourists the way the locals fleeced me everywhere I went.
SC – Maybe unload some tribal gew-gaws I got conned inta buying.

Squidport Pt. 9
Have Boardwalk Sections – 0/12
Build Just Rainsticks – 0/1 – 52000, 24 hours

JUST RAINSTICKS QUEST

Lisa – Ooh, an entire store filled with rainsticks! How can I choose just one?
Bart – Lis, even you have to see those things are beyond lame. It’s a giant, slow rattle.
L – Rainsticks were invented by the Aztecs who believed that by recreating the sound of rain, they could call forth rainstorms to water their crops.
B – Well, they should have invented a stick that recreated the sound of them not be conquered by the Spanish.
L – Wow. That was actually historically accurate.
B – I perk up in class when there’s ass-whoppings.

Just Rainsticks
Make Lisa Browse for Rainsticks – 0/1 – 4 hours, 175c, 45xp

END JUST RAINSTICKS QUEST

Sea Captain – When ye’re crossing a great ocean and ye got miles of time ahead of ye, it’s the perfect opportunity to hone new skills.
Homer – Like what? Knot tying, knife throwing, shark punching?
SC – Nay! I was able to work up a solid stand up set.
SC – Here’s my opener: We all know the difference between a Quartermaster and Boatswain, right? ‘Bout 20K a year! Ba-dum-bump!
H – What language are you speaking?
SC – Y’arr, I’m still workshoppin’ a lot of this.

The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 4
Make Sea Captain Practice Standup Routine – 0/1 – 60 mins, 70c, 17xp

Sea Captain – …and I said, “That’s as useful as a tall powder monkey!”
Homer – I don’t get it.
SC – If he was tall, he couldn’t fit in the gunwhale which would be hilarious because… aw, forget it!
SC – My quality sea-comedy’s too good for the likes of you. Ye can amuse yourself with the low-rent antics of boardwalk street performers.

Squidport Pt. 10
Have a Street Performer – 0/1 – Human Statue, 10000

Sea Captain – Now this is a boardwalk on which Ahab himself would be proud to play skeeball.
SC – The Squidport is finally ready for the placement of its crowning jewel.
Homer – Jewels? You’re going to share you ill-gotten treasure booty with us!
SC – Stop call me a pirate! I meant a metaphorical jewel. Something that will really make the Squidport shine.
H – A fried dough stand?
SC – Better than that.
Lisa – An Antique Book Store?
SC – Better than that.
Bart – A hundred foot tall climbing wall that yu parachute down from?
SC – Well okay, not as good as that.

Squidport Pt. 11
Have Boardwalk Sections – 0/16
Build the Frying Dutchman – 0/1 – 43000, 24 hours

Sea Captain – Y’arr, to use an old nautical term: Ta-dah!!
Bart – That’s our “jewel”? A crappy food shack?
SC – The Frying Dutchman is a charming seafood restaurant!
B – You sell fish sticks. That’s not seafood. It’s barely food-food.
Homer – *chomp* I gotta say, *gulp* then boy’s right, Sea Captain, this food is… *chew* …just okay. *gulp*
SC – Did I mention it was “All-You-Can-Eat?”
H – Out of my way people, or risk being eaten!

The Frying Dutchman Pt 1
Make Sea Captain Work at the Frying Dutchman – 0/1 – 8 hours, 275c, 70xp
Make Springfield Residents Eat at The Frying Dutchman – 0/20 – 8 hours, 275c, 70xp

Sea Captain – Yarr! Business is booming!
SC – Booming footsteps? Why is the ground shaking? What’s that shadow falling over the threshold?
SC – Neptune help us — there’s two o’ them!
Comic Book Guy – I’m here for your “All-You-Can-Eat” buffet. I have brought my own plate… which is actually a catering pan!
Homer – Well, I bought my kid’s inflatible swimming pool. It’s a giant bowl you can sit in.
CBG – Said pool looks like it deflated. You are currently just sitting and eating off the floor.
H – At least I’m eating.
CBG – Touche. Make room for me.
SC – The horror. The horror…

The Frying Dutchman Pt. 2
Make Sea Captain Work at The Frying Dutchman – 0/2 – 8 hours, 275c, 70xp
Make Homer Pig Out at The Frying Dutchman – 0/1 – 36 hours, 750c, 200xp
Make Comic Book Guy Pig Out at The Frying Dutchman – 0/1 – 36 hours, 750c, 200xp

Sea Captain – Everything. They ate everything. All the food… even the Naugahyde off the booth.
SC – T’aren’t men, tha’re remoresless eatin’ machines.
Comic Book Guy – Passable. I’ll give it 2.5 out of 5 on my blog. By the way, I’ll be paying with a Groupon.
Homer – Can I have more of these mints?
SC – Those are pebbles from the potted plant next to you.
H – I repeat, can I have more?

Sea Captain – Homer, I’m beggin’ ya. What can I do to have you turn your mighty eatin’ power elsewhere?
Homer – Well, the only reason I even came down to the waterfront was to get some fried dough.
SC – That’s it? That’s all we have ta do? Yee-haw! I mean… I don’t know, whatever sailors say when they’re happy.

Squidport Pt. 12
Have Boardwalk secions – 0/17
Build a Fried Dough Stand – 945c

Sea Captain – There, take it! Eat ye vast yellow whale! Eat yer fried dough! Eat like the great sucking whirlpool you are!
Homer – Hmm, you know what’s funny? I’m not hungry anymore. I’m feeling kind of nappish.

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