I can’t, and won’t, call this a proper review. The fact of the matter is that Troll and I is so so so so so (let’s just call it so to the 9,000th power) bad that I couldn’t even get past 10 minutes of the game. Characters shuttering around as they “walk”. The main character has dreads, dreads that are self contained inside their own ecosystem with wind speeds that seem to be at least a factor of 80 past the rest of the world’s wind.
The first action sequence is a running “game” where fire is chasing you so you have to navigate a pathway with obstacles. Let’s go over the 4 separate glitches I encountered on this one sequence alone.
Number 1. The first time it loaded it actually loaded me into a village area where I was simply running straight through the houses and other building like they weren’t even there.
Number 2. After reloading the first time the game never came back. It just froze at the loading screen.
Number 3. When I finally got running the prompts for the obstacles started happening later and later. It got to the point after only a few jumps that prompts were happening AFTER I passed the obstacle. Lucky for me the design is so terrible that ALL the prompts were B.
Number 4. After getting about halfway through the scene the camera rotated and ran my man directly into the side of the rock wall allowing the fire to overtake me. And I tried to recreate this thinking I just forced him that way but you don’t have the much control over the character.
That was all in just one sequence. Two cutscenes, a boar hunting mission and this run mission was all I could stand.
At least Goat Simulator was only $10 and had the decency to tell you ahead of time what you were getting into. Troll and I is just plain absurd at $50 and frankly Maximum Games should be ashamed of themselves for even releasing it.