Review: Gears of War: Ultimate

Gears of War: Ultimate
44.42 GB
Available On
Xbox ONE [Reviewed]
Release Date
The Coalition
Microsoft Studios
Single, Co-op & Multiplayer

So Gears of War Ultimate is a interesting game for a lot of reasons. First off we have a Microsoft published franchise that is coming out with a remaster during the same period they are touting their amazing new backwards compatibility feature. The second issue is this is just Gears of War 1 for $40. So many of these remasters are including an entire series for a better per game price point. The biggest being Halo: Master Chief Collection with the entire base Halo series, and the Halo franchise is also from Microsoft.

So is Gears of War Ultimate worth it? Are the updates worth the price? Let’s dig into Gears of War Ultimate and find out.

First off, if you haven’t already played Gears of War 1 when it launched on the 360, presumable becuase you were just a gleam in your daddy’s eye, then just buy Ultimate right now and get yourself into the franchise. If this is your first time with GoW then my rating to you is a 9/10. The original is still one of my all time favorate games and Ultimate is undoubtedly a better version of it. One of the few games that is equally good at co-op as it is at multiplayer. So just go get it now.

If you have played it on 360, well then let’s look at what’s changed in the campaign. They’ve thrown in a few more missions at the end that used to PC exclusive. The graphics are a marked visual improvement. Moving, running, aiming and cover detection are improved also. There is a new casual difficulty that is even easier for people to jump in and get killing and with that there are more checkpoints so even after dying you have less rework time.

But on the other side of things there are plenty of graphical glitches. I spent the better part of one mission with half a door sticking through my character and you’ll still see from time to time crazy death scenes with characters spasming like they have the charlie horse from hell. The second issue is that your AI Team are just a bunch of complete and total fucktards. There is no nice way to put it. At the start of every mission you should point them to the short bus and get them the hell away from any action. There are times you will just stand in a little clump like they are playing Magic completely oblivious to the battle you are single handly fight around them. There are time when they seem to forget that that creature across from them is the Lotus and instead believe them to be Girl Scout Girls and walk right up with $20 in their hands to get some cookies and of course instead take a shotgun to the mouth. Unfortunately at this point you are supposed to walk up there and heal them because you god damn know that none of the other AI is going to do it.

First off I have a huge multiplayer beef. There are no weapon execultions in multiplayer. The reasoning is weapon executions weren’t added until Gears of War 2 so they have no business being in Gears of War 1. BUT, and it’s a big BUT(T), Team Deathmatch and 2 v 2 Gnasher wasn’t a part of Gears of War 1 and yet they’ve added these new modes. Weapon executions offer no gameplay advantage over curb stomping and wouldn’ve been a nice additional feature.

I still have horrible nightmares about the 2 hours it took to find a match when Gears of War first launched way back on the 360 but so far for me these issues are gone. Multiplayer plays a lot smoother and Gears is a unique multiplayer experience in so many ways. From the cover system to gnasher gameplay to grenade tagging. But a smoother experience is not a NEW experience and it’s still the Gears I played so many years ago.

If you’ve already played Gears of War you have to ask yourself if you are really ready to grind another 10,000 kills in mulitplayer? (Hopefully they actually track correctly this time). Do you even want to? It’s a great series and I’ll definately play any Gears that comes out in the future but for me, as a guy who played the crap out of it on the 360, there just isn’t enough new here to get me excited.

1) Great entry to series if you haven’t played before
2) Runs faster and smoother

1) Dollar value, this game will be BC soon
2) AI Teammates are the absolute WORST
3) Not enough new



Review: Broken Sword 5: The Serpent’s Curse

Broken Sword 5: The Serpent’s Curse
4.96 GB
Available On
Xbox ONE [Reviewed], PS4
Release Date
Revolution Software
Revolution Software

Broken Sword 5: The Serpent’s Curse is a point-and-click adventure game from Revolution Software. It’s a long standing adventure series on the PC but this is the first in the series to make it’s way to the Xbox ONE. You play as both George Stobbart and Nico Collard as you investigate a robbery slash murder at a art gallery. Each character has their own approach and story and you’ll be switching back and forth between them quite frequently.

The graphics are very clean with nice looking set pieces and fully animated characters. The characters movements are very smooth and Broken Sword doesn’t suffer from standard point-and-click syndrome where characters sort of shuffle and warp to objectives.

Our Two Main Characters

Our Two Main Characters

An adventure game, and in particular a point and click, are made by two things. Their story and their puzzles.

Although the overall story and script are quite good, the tone comes off as actors simply reading a series of lines out of context. The interactions between characters lack a sense of emotion. Plus some conversations drag on for what seems like an eternity. I’m looking at you Paris waiter.

The puzzle are very well thought out and run the gambit from fetch quests to contained single scene puzzles. There really isn’t anything new puzzle wise here, just puzzles done right. This game also strictly adheres to the old adventure rule: If you can pick it up, you will need it later.

There is some good depth to the game and even with a guide (which you are doing yourself and the game a disservice by following one) Broken Sword will take you several hours to finish. As with all point-and-click adventure games there is a fair amount of back and forth between locations as new clues takes you back to old locations to look for new information but the loading is quick and each visit tends to feel unique in it’s approach.

A 10 Minute Conversation About Nothing

A 10 Minute Conversation About Nothing

There are several side characters in the story that come from previous Broken Sword games and if the ONE version is your first journy to this world you’ll be missing out on some of the inside jokes and references. I hope 5 is a success on the ONE as I would definately enjoy seeing more of this universe and learning more about these characters.

The one other thing I want to point out is that there are achievements tied to very specific actions, almost exclusively in the second half, and if screwed up would require you to redo the entire game. The game does have a save feature so make sure you use it as the default is to simply save right on top of your previous save.

Broken Sword 5: The Serpent’s Curse doesn’t reinvent the point and click genre but it knows it’s heritage and it creates a enjoyable deep story with varied and interesting puzzles. If you’re a fan of the genre you won’t be disappointed.

1) Good looking game
2) Deep Story
3) Varied Puzzles

1) Emotionless voice acting



Review: Rory McIlroy PGA Tour

Rory McIlroy PGA Tour
Retail & Digital
26.65 GB
Available On
Xbox ONE [Reviewed], PS4
Release Date
Electronic Arts
Single & Multiplayer

“Welcome to Rory McIlroy’s Macaroni and Cheese Emporium! Where I, Rory McIlroy, personally delivers each and every bowl of Rory McIlroy’s Macaroni and Cheese to your table!” [ANNOUNCER VOICE] “Rory delivers from 3:00 to 3:12 every 23rd Wednesday.” I don’t know why but I got that stuck in my head while I played the extremely long titled EA Sports Rory McIlroy PGA Tour (Hereafter and thenceforth known as ESRMPT) but I am offering it up as a valid business idea to Mr McIlroy for the low, low cost of free Rory McIlroy’s Mac and Cheese for life. Say it out loud, it just rolls right off the tongue. Rory McIlroy’s Mac and Cheese. Gold mine.

Anywho, Tiger Wood’s reign of terror over the golf video game world has come to an end and it’s time for Rory McIlroy to take over. Is ESRMPT the same old same old, a reboot, or something entirely different? Let’s find out together as we head down the road to RMMACE and have some Mac and Cheese and go over the game.

Let’s get a few negatives out of the way. The big one, you can only play Match play. The only option is to play a round and best overall score wins. No best ball, no best shot, no skins, no bingo bango bongo, no stableford. OK I think I made my point. Wait, one more. No chapman. (I actually used all the ones I know in the first part. Thanks Google!) The point being a lot of these have been in previous EA golf games so their omission on this new flagship launch is disappointing and really limits what you can do in multiplayer as far as tournaments with your friends.

Number 2 disappointment is there is no Masters. You do progress through the FedEx Cup and there is a mixture of real tournaments like the Players Championship intermixed with made up tournaments like the Bioware Classic. A lot of nods to EA properties throughout. But if you’re looking for a 100% recreation of the actual PGA Tour then you are out of luck.

The main mode for ESRMPT is the Pro Mode. You create a player from scratch and drive, chip and putt your way through the FedEx Cup. The game is downright gorgeous. From the players to the course everything looks amazing. There are 12 (13 with a pre-order which will be made available to everyone down the line) courses and it’s a good mix of painstakingly recreated real courses and some insane fantasy courses. The highlight for me is the 18 hole executive course (all par 3s) that is based on Battlefield. The commentary alone makes this a course you need to try out right away.

It seems every year golf games feel the need to come up with new ways of striking the ball. From the classic 3 point click to the left stick swing to ball shaping prior and/or during launch you are always having to remember and learn a new “better” way to play. EA Sports Rory McIlroy PGA Tour has finally done away with all that offering 3 main ways to play and even including a custom option where you can pick and choose the best of all 3 to create your own Frankenstein’ed gameplay.

Probably the biggest innovation is the way you play tournaments. Each tournament is played out over 4 rounds like the real deal. Four rounds of 18 holes is a LOT to play. I’m not going to do the math. Well ok I will, 72 holes per tournament is asking for burnout. So ESRMPT has a brilliant new feature. Highlight Rounds. Instead of playing all 18 holes you play a selected series of 4 or more holes and the game then simulates the rest of the round. It allows you to get a tournament done a lot faster, the downside being if you have a bad 5 holes the simulation is not going to come out in your favor. If you want to play out the whole thing you can, or highlight the first few rounds and then finish strong on your own 18 its entirely up to you.

Leveling up is automated with skills and equipment unlocked at every level. The way you give a little something special to your golfer is your ability to select skill boosters. Every 25 levels you get to add another one. Things like Power Hitter or Chip and Putt Specialist. All of these come with boosts to one area and negatives to another so it’s a real strategy to decide what you need and what you can give up to get it.

Multiplayer plays out in the new everyone goes at once fashion that is all the rage. Although it really speeds up play and is the go to choice now for most players I would of really liked to have seen an option to force a more traditional rules of golf mode.

Brand new is the Night Club Challenge mode. This is a series of golf challenges played out over 3 courses with over a 100 challenges to do. Putting, Target Practice, Chipping, just a huge selection of things to do. This mode also adds power-ups like power bursts and sticky balls that stop instantly when activated. It’s a lot of fun to play through but yet again I am left a little disappointed because there is no way to play with friends with all the power-ups you’ve earned.

Overall PGA Tour is a lot of fun and the things they got right this year far outweigh the slight misses. The complete lack of game modes to play with friends is the biggest set back but the additions to play styles and just how smooth the games plays makes it a lot of fun. I suggest you get yourself a bowl of Rory McIlroy’s Mac and Cheese and play a few round with friends today.

1) It’s not The Golf Club
2) Lots of hitting options
3) Great looking golfers and courses
4) Good mix of real and fantasy courses

1) Complete lack of modes



Contest: Rare Replay First To Complete

30 games with 10,000 gs? That screams a First to Complete Contest right.

Even if you don’t think you can top 3 make sure to join as I’ll do some giveaways and contests just for people on this leaderboard!

$100 prize pool to start. $50 to 1st, $30 to 2nd, $20 to 3rd
Can’t earn achievements before official launch
Glitched/Broken achievements will be dealt with as they are discovered

Current launch date: Aug 4th

Just to confirm this race is for the 10k gs only, not all 30 titles since it appears 9 of the titles will just be the 360 versions via backwards compatibility with their original GS.

We are hosting a leaderboard over at Check it out HERE. It’s free to sign up and once the contest has started we’ll keep track of everyone’s progress over here on

Review: LEGO Jurassic World

LEGO Jurassic World
Digital and Retail
12.58 GB
Available On
Xbox ONE [Reviewed], 360, PS4, PS3
Release Date
Traveller’s Tales
Warner Bros. Interactive
Single Player and Local Co-op

LEGO Jurassic World is the latest LEGO game from Traveller’s Tales and if you’ve played ANY LEGO GAME EVER, then you are as prepared for LEGO Jurassic World as Bounty Paper Towels are prepared for a small liquid spill and that’s pretty damn prepared. People complain that COD or Battlefield make a game every single year but I think one of the first things Goldman Sachs’ uses as a indication that the global economy is about to implode is if there are not at least 3 LEGO games released in a year and they’ve been coming out that way since the start of time. I believe I remember a section in the Bible where Jesus and Moses are playing LEGO: BC and getting mad because they are trying to destroy 3 Gold Cow Idols for a Red Brick but haven’t unlocked Noah yet so they don’t have the correct ability.

All LEGO games have the exact same 2 things going for them. The first is the start of the game’s name is LEGO and the second is the last part of the game’s name is some other insanely popular franchise with about a million raving fan-boys. And it’s a formula that works so god-bless their cookie cutter hearts and I hope they keep making them for a million more years.

That’s not to say that nothing ever changes in LEGO games. It’s more like they are not especially aggressive at adding new features. Traveller’s Tales sits down to start working on the next installment and Bob says, “How about we add these 2 things.” and everyone at the table applauds him and they get up to move on with development. Well George thinks he has 2 more things that would make it great also but too late George, someone already said 2 things and we don’t want to look like some kind of crazy dev that does more than 2 new things a game do we? The answer is no, no we do not.

A LEGO game isn't complete without a ton of random abilities!

A LEGO game isn’t complete without a ton of random abilities!

Of the two things they actually changed for LEGO Jurassic World the biggest and most welcome for me is that in the character select screen it clearly and precisely notes each and every character’s abilities. No more trying to remember who can break fuchsia colored bricks vs light-fuchsia colored bricks or some other nonsense. Another bonus is if the ability you need is sitting right there as character two, they give you a quite large hit Y to switch to him and try again. If no one in your party can do it they give you a headshot pic so you can try to figure out how to acquire them and come back later.

But there are also the same types of glitches that have never been fixed or even acknowledged. I can’t get through a LEGO game, and Jurassic World was no exception, without several characters getting permanently stuck in something. This always leaves you with only one option. To quit the entire level and try to start again. How hard would it be to code a reset position option in the menu? It would help my blood pressure immensely.

The main story consists of 20 levels covering all 4 movies. The levels follow the movies in pretty accurate detail expect with a more comedy minded outcome to some of the more tense movie situations. The cutscenes in LEGO Jurassic World are all played out with the actual audio tracks from the movies and 90% of the time they sound crisp and clean. There were a few lines though that sound like they were pulled from a VHS copy that had been stored in garbage dumpster out behind a Long John Silvers.

There are the now typical 250 Gold Bricks to acquire. Most of these are pretty straight forward and I was happy to see them move away from the insane number of fetch quests that made LEGO Lord of Rings so tedious. There are Workers in Peril and humorous photos to take. Races to be won. Sick Dinosaurs to heal. This isn’t just get the Gold Bricks to get all the Gold bricks. There are actual fun activities to do. All of these are short puzzles located in the same area and a new in-game map system shows the general locations of everything you need to accomplish. When it works. Again this is a LEGO game, glitches are to be expected. Some Gold Bricks simply didn’t make the cut for the map and hunting down your last few through the games many many many locations can become a chore. The new map system also allows for fast travel not only between story missions but hub locations which is a much appreciated new feature.

Oh, and yeah, you get to the be the Dinosaurs. During the story missions you’ll take control to win battles and bust open new areas and in the hub / free roam areas they are selectable just like characters for the smaller dino and they have large strategically placed dino pads to bring in large dinos like the T. rex. So if you want to run amok with a Velociraptor then go for it! Storm around and trash things as a T. rex? Yep you can do that too.

Dinosaurs! You can play as LEGO Dinosaurs!

Dinosaurs! You can play as LEGO Dinosaurs!

Even though at it’s core this is the same LEGO game that has been made for the last 20 years, the abilities and story are always unique to the franchise they are covering. Traveller’s Tales has a knack for taking material that is decidedly non-kid friendly and making it true to the original while making it accessible and enjoyable to the masses. I’d love to see what they would do with a LEGO Scarface. If you like LEGO, or you like Jurassic World, or you just like fun family friendly adventure games then you should absolutely give LEGO Jurassic World a play.

1) Strong story
2) Easily accessible and always fun

1) Same glitches as previous LEGO games



Achievement Guide: LEGO Jurassic World

Welcome To Jurassic Park – 20gs – Complete Prologue

Story Related. First level of the game.

The Calm Before The Storm – 20gs – Complete Welcome To Jurassic Park

Story Related. After finishing the Prologue you can choose to start the Jurassic Park trilogy or play Jurassic World. This is the first level of the Jurassic Park storyline.

Objects In The Mirror – 20gs – Complete Park Shutdown

Story Related. This is the second level of the Jurassic Park storyline.

We’re Being Hunted – 20gs – Complete Restoring Power

Story Related. This is the third level of the Jurassic Park storyline.

Decided Not To Endorse Your Park – 20gs – Complete The Visitor Center

Story Related. This is the fourth and final level of the Jurassic Park storyline.

That’s How It All Starts… – 20gs – Complete Isla Sorna

Story Related. After finishing Jurassic Park, you can start The Lost World. This is the first level of the Lost World storyline.

Mommy’s Very Angry – 20gs – Complete InGen Arrival

Story Related. This is the second level of the Lost World storyline.

Don’t Go Into The Long Grass – 20gs – Complete The Hunted

Story Related. This is the third level of the Lost World storyline.

What About The Others? – 20gs – Complete Communications Center

Story Related. This is the fourth level of the Lost World storyline.

Just Follow The Screams – 20gs – Complete San Diego

Story Related. This is the final level of the Lost World storyline.

Not On InGen’s List – 20gs – Complete Landing Site

Story Related. This is the first level of the Jurassic Park III storyline.

Nobody Move A Muscle – 20gs – Complete The Spinosaurus

Story Related. This is the second level of the Jurassic Park III storyline.

Is This How You Make Dinosaurs? – 20gs – Complete Breeding Facility

Story Related. This is the third level of the Jurassic Park III storyline.

Family Reunion – 20gs – Complete Eric Kirby

Story Related. This is the fourth level of the Jurassic Park III storyline.

Going Home – 20gs – Complete The Bird Cage

Story Related. This is the final level of the Jurassic Park III storyline.

The Park Is Open – 20gs – Complete Welcome To Jurassic World

Story Related. After finishing the Prologue you can choose to start the Jurassic Park trilogy or play Jurassic World. This is the first level of the Jurassic World storyline.

Full Jurassic World Experience – 20gs – Complete Gyrosphere Valley

Story Related. This is the second level of the Jurassic World storyline.

Are You Following The Dinosaur? – 20gs – Complete Out Of Bounds

Story Related. This is the third level of the Jurassic World storyline.

A New Alpha – 20gs – Complete Under Attack

Story Related. This is the fourth level of the Jurassic World storyline.

We Need More Teeth – 20gs – Complete Main Street Showdown

Story Related. This is the final level of the Jurassic World storyline.

65 Million Bricks In The Making – 40gs – Complete All Story Levels
We’re Out Of A Job… – 20gs – Collect all Minikits in any level
… Don’t You Mean Extinct? – 40gs – Collect all Minikits in the game

Went And Made A New Dinosaur – 20gs – Create a custom dinosaur
All I Got Was This T-Shirt – 20gs – Create a custom character
Spared No Expense – 40gs – Collect 65,000,000 studs
Bingo! Dino DNA! – 20gs – Collect an Amber Brick

The Amber Bricks (which there are 1 per level) unlock the dinosaurs. You must collect the one in the Welcome to Jurassic Park at the very end with the Triceratops to finish the level so this is unmissable.

The Legacy of John Hammond – 40gs – Collect All Amber Bricks
Send The Helicopters – 20gs – Rescue all Workers in Peril
Must Go Faster – 20gs – Complete All Races
Observe And Document – 20gs – Complete All Photographs
Next Time It’ll Be Flawless! – 70gs – Achieve 100% Completion
One Big Pile Of Bricks – 20gs – Collect All Red Bricks
Helping Hand – 10gs – Heal A Dinosaur

In Welcome to Jurassic Park you are tasked with healing a Triceratops. You must do this to continue the story. You will be tasked with finding 3 objects to heal the Triceratops.

What Lysine Contingency? – 20gs – Heal all Dinosaurs

Only the 10 Hub area Dinosaurs count toward this achievement.

Jurassic Park – Triceratops Territory
Jurassic Park – Dilophosaurus Territory
Jurassic Park – Gallimimus Territory
Lost World – Hunting Plains
Lost World – Long Grass
Lost World – Ankylosaurus Territory
Jurassic Park III – Safari Plains
Jurassic World – East Boardwalk
Jurassic World – Gyroshpere Valley
Jurassic World – Shady Grove

Something Has Survived – 20gs – Obtain ”True Survivor” in any level
Survival Expert – 40gs – Collect ”True Survivor” on all levels
Reason To Fear Man – 10gs – Defeat 50 Compy Goons
We Want To Be Thrilled – 10gs – Place a custom Dinosaur in a Paddock
The Concept Of Attraction – 10gs – Enable Stud Magnet Red Brick
Not Machine Compatible – 10gs – Try to use a hacker terminal as Alan Grant

The computers in the Visitor Center Control Room count. The ones that look like real computers. Do this in Free Play.

Pack Hunter – 10gs – Set both Free Play characters as Raptors

You get the Amber for Velociraptors in the Restoring Power mission. Once you have them set both players any of the Raptors and the achievement will unlock.

Anybody want a Soda? – 10gs – As Dennis Nedry, throw a soda can at another character

You must obviously have a Nedry as your character.
You can get one for free using the code: RAVKRT. Otherwise he costs 100,000 and is unlocked during Welcome to Jurassic Park.
You can not aim at your fellow partner so load up InGen Arrival to Camp Sabotage and throw a Soda at one of the human enemies.

Remember To Wash Your Hands – 10gs – Complete a Dropping Rummage

You will be forced to do about a 100 of these during the Story Mode so no worries. This is when Ellie or anyone with the Rummage ability looks through droppings for clues and items. The first time in game you will do this is when you are trying to heal the Triceratops in Welcome to Jurassic Park.

Do-You-Think-He-Saurus? – 10gs – Sneak past a Dinosaur using Camoflauge

You are forced to do this with Owen in the Welcome to Jurassic World story mission near the end of the mission.

Clever Goal – 10gs – As a Velociraptor, score a goal in the Jurassic World Petting Zoo

Hello John! – 10gs – Set both Free Play characters as John Hammond (or variant of him)

John Hammond is unlocked for FREE after completing The Visitor Center in the Jurassic Park storyline. There is also a PAID version you can unlock when you finish the first mission of the Lost World campaign. Simply make both characters John Hammond and the achievement will unlock. This is a homage to John’s character talking to his video self in Jurassic Park. Like the multi-billionaire was going to be there to start every single tour himself.

Building Blocks Of Life – 10gs – Build a LEGO object using Mr. DNA

Mr. D.N.A. is unlocked by finishing all the story missions. He costs 500,000. After buying him load up and missions and use Mr. D.N.A. to build a buildable.

The Human Piece Of Toast – 10gs – Give Timmy a shock

For this you need Timmy (FREE after Restoring Power) and any character listed as “Can jump-start LEGO Generators). We will be using Handler Ellis who is acquired for FREE after Welcome to Jurassic World. Now simply hit Timmy with Handler Ellis’ shock rod and the achievement will unlock. Apparently it’s too un-PC to shock a child so you won’t get to see the shock animation.

Achievement Guide: Payday 2: Crimewave Edition

Coming in Hot – 15gs – On day 1 of the Watchdogs job, don’t let the cops shoot and destroy the escape vehicle.
Fish A.I. – 15gs – On day 2 of the Watchdogs job, throw a loot bag into the sea, hoping fish move away as it gets near.

F in Chemistry – 15gs – On day 1 of the Rats job, blow up the lab.
Caribbean Pirate – 15gs – On day 2 of the Rats job, bring additional meth bags to the trade, but steal your payment instead.
Doctor Fantastic – 15gs – On day 2 of the Big Oil job, complete the heist with the first engine being correct.
You Owe Me One – 15gs – In the Big Bank job, start the heist after having spent all 10 favors in preplanning.
Don’t Bring the Heat – 35gs – In the Big Bank job, complete the heist without triggering the alarm.
Let’s Do Th… – 15gs – In the Ukrainian job, complete the heist within 35 seconds.
Lord Of War – 15gs – On day 1 of the Firestarter job, steal all the weapons from the hangar.
I’m a Swinger – 15gs – In the Election Day job, complete the heist in stealth and swing the votes to the republican favour.
Hot Lava 2.0 – 15gs – On day 1 of the Election Day job, use the computer in stealth without ever touching the ground.
Yeah He’s a Gold Digger – 15gs – In the Four Stores job, find a gold bar in the safe.

This is completely random. There are safes typically in the electronic store. Then maybe one in the convenience store, china store, or the coffee shop. Just keeping opening them until you get one. The achievement will pop as soon as a safe opens and one is inside whether you are near it or not.

I Will Fade To Dark – 15gs – In the Shadow Raid job, secure 4 bags of loot.
I Will Walk Faceless Among Men – 15gs – In the Shadow Raid job, secure all 4 pieces of the samurai armor.
Phew! – 15gs – On day two of the Hotline Miami job, save someone in need.
Walk Faster – 15gs – On day 2 of the Hotline Miami, reach the Commissar’s crib in under 210 seconds on OVERKILL or above.
Sounds of Animals Fighting – 15gs – Finish the Hotline Miami job on hard difficulty or above, each member wearing a unique Hotline mask.
Cat Burglar – 15gs – In the Diamond job, complete the heist without triggering the alarm.
Culture Vultures – 15gs – In the Diamond job, secure 10 bags of additional loot.
Breaking Dead – 15gs – In the Bomb: Dockyard heist, find the meth lab.
Pump It Up – 15gs – On Bomb: Forest, stop the cops from disconnecting the water hose whilst using the river water pump.
I’ve Got the Power – 15gs – In the Bomb: Dockyard heist, don’t let the enemies cut the power.
Tabula Rasa – 90gs – Finish Hoxton Breakout on OVERKILL, everyone using the Golden AK, C-Typewriter SMG, no skills/armor.
No One Cared Who I Was… – 15gs – Until I put on the mask.

The first time you put on the your mask with LB this will unlock. Most like at the Safe House.

I Got It, I Got It! – 15gs – Catch a bag mid­air.

Best place to do it is your safe house right when you start the game as there will be no one shooting at you.

But Wait – There’s More! – 15gs – On any Armored Transport heist, find the plans that unlocks the Train heist.
Masked Villain – 15gs – Modify a mask for the first time.
Going Places – 15gs – Gain $1.000.000 in total spendable cash.
Killin’s As Easy As Breathing – 15gs – Kill 10 enemies in a row using any light machine gun without releasing the trigger.
In Town You’re the Law, Out Here It’s Me – 15gs – Kill a jump kicking Cloaker using any Shotgun.
Triple Kill – 15gs – Kill 3 enemies with one bullet using any Sniper rifle.

The first Sniper Rifle you can buy is the Rattlesnake Sniper Rifle at level 15. At level 65 you get the .50 cal though that will do a LOT more damage and make it easier to get multiple kills at once.

It Takes A Pig To Kill A Pig – 15gs – Drop Floyd the Pig on top of a lawforcer.
Police Brutality – 15gs – Beat a Shield to death using the Telescopic Baton.

The Telescopic Baton is a level 17 unlock in Melee. It still takes quite a few hits so working with a partner to distract the Shield is a good idea.

Swing Dancing – 15gs – Complete any single day of a heist killing at least 50 enemies using only your melee weapon.
Big Bada Boom – 15gs – Kill at least four enemies with one GL40 grenade launcher shot.

The GL40 Grenade Launcher is a level 46 unlock under Special for your Primary slot.

Bullet Hell – 15gs – Kill 10 enemies within 10 seconds using the Buzzsaw 42 light machine gun.

The Buzzsaw 42 Light Machine Gun is a level 71 unlock under LMGs for your Primary slot.

Tough Act to Follow – 30gs – Complete all contracts including pro jobs on the Hard difficulty.
Shit Just Got Real – 30gs – Complete all contracts including pro jobs on the Very Hard difficulty.
Completely OVERKILL! – 35gs – Complete all contracts including pro jobs on the OVERKILL difficulty.
OVERKILL Salutes You! – 90gs – Complete all contracts including pro jobs on the Death Wish difficulty.
Becoming Infamous – 90gs – Reach the first level of Infamy.

You must first get to level 100 and spend $200 million from your offshore account. This also resets your skill points and removes all your spending cash. AKA, Prestige. It does open up some bonuses and unique items though.

Most Wanted – 90gs – Reach reputation level 100.

Review: Schrödinger’s Cat and the Raiders of the Lost Quark

Schrödinger’s Cat and the Raiders of the Lost Quark
2.95 GB
Available On
Xbox ONE [Reviewed], Steam
Release Date
Single Player

Schrödinger’s Cat and the Raiders of the Lost Quark (here after referred to as the Cat Game) is a platformer by Italic Pig and Team17 with a bunch of puzzling and a heavy heavy physics background. And not physics like in game shenanigans like Portal, no physics as in physics jokes and puns. Seriously. If you are a Stephen Hawking-aphile you’re going to be laughing your ass off and trying to high five a lot of people who have no idea what the hell that joke even meant. Do you think puns related to the Higgs boson is the absolute top level of comedy? Then you probably have a lot of social issues but at least this game is for you! The story goes that all of these particles have escaped from the Particle Zoo and you need to get them all back. Now I’m not saying that if you don’t get the references you’re not going to enjoy the game. I’m just saying they made a game whose name is based on a experiment that if you put a cat into a box and it has a 50% chance of dying is the cat dead, alive or both?

Physics be funny!

Physics be funny!

So how do you go about finding and capturing these 100s of Gluons and Muons and other particles? Scattered throughout the levels you will start to collect four different Quarks. These are small brightly colored objects and they are EVERYWHERE. After you collect a bunch of these Quarks you combine them, 3 at a time, into 14 different combos. You create things like Copter, that lifts you to areas you can’t directly jump to. Missiles allow you to blast through walls and Dig allows you to, well, blast through the floor. There are a total of 14 abilities and most of these combinations are given to you by the game but a few have to be discovered by you as you play. The Cat has all the typical platformer moves to go along with these abilities like a limited attack move and jumping but you’ll be using the abilities A LOT.

There are two different types of levels you will be playing in the Cat Game. Hub style open area levels are where you are just trying to collect those Gluons and other escaped particles and pretty much just get yourself to the next main puzzle area. In these types of levels Quarks are everywhere. They end up being a non currency because of how easy they are to get. You can just enter and leave levels to load up on quarks. You can easily get 50 or more of each Quark so it’s not really if you are going to be able to get through the level, just how you are going to do it.

Get those Glouns

Get those Glouns

The puzzle levels, by contrast, are the complete opposite. You are typically given only the exact number of Quarks you need to complete a area and then any extra are taken from you before you start the next section. My problem with these sections are they need to be done pretty much perfectly. There is typically no way to backtrack to reacquire Quarks you lose through using your abilities. If you need to Copter up to a area but fail to make the ledge you need to get to, or perhaps you just fall off the ledge, you literally have no way of getting back up there. You need to pause to the menu and restart checkpoint. It takes you out of the game and it would of been more in-game to simply have a place to fall back to that got you the Quarks you needed to re-start that section again instead of having to constantly reload.

The game is also randomly generated so every time you play you’ll get a different layout. I assume this is why the level design is so so boring. The Cat and other NPCs and enemies look really top notch. As you collect more and more Quarks it really fells like this mass of creatures always there when you need them. But the levels themselves are pretty much made from 3 elements that just repeat and repeat and repeat. You have a ground element that you can break, a rock element that you can not break, and the goo element that harms you. That’s about it.

Although you can complete the game without getting all the lose particles there is a achievement for capturing them all. Each level typically has a few signs that point out how many of each are left in the game and how many are left in the particular area you are in. There is no fast travel level select here though. Up until the end of the game you area able to backtrack to previous areas but it is quite the chore to do so. Any game that tasks you will collecting and finding so many objects should by law, Ampere’s Law, (Google physics reference!) have a level select.

The story and acting are top notch, but the repetitive and boring level design are a unfortunate distraction from the solid platform/puzzle gameplay. The difference between “Open Quarks Quarks Everywhere As Far As The Eye Can See” and the “Puzzle Only As Many Quarks As You Need And Not A Single Quark More” levels is such a huge disparity and with how abundant the Quarks are in the open areas it seems like it would of been more enjoyable to play if the player just got unlimited Quarks in these areas. Anyone who enjoys platformers and puzzle games fun should give Schrod’s Cat a chance, especially at the bargain price of just $10. You might also pick up some amazing physics info you can throw out at your next dinner party. Or not. Probably not.

1) Story is funny and well acted
2) Quarks and their abilities are a interesting new mechanic

1) Level graphics are just so basic
2) Failing puzzle elements require you to restart entire sections



Review: The Swapper

The Swapper
416.05 MB
Available On
Xbox ONE [Reviewed], PS4
Release Date
Curve Digital
Single Player

The Swapper is a clone based puzzle game from Carbon and Curve Digital. In a story as old as time you play a character that is trying to escape something with no recollection of why you are trying to do it. What is it about puzzle stories and amnesia? The Swapper’s universe is a hub world where you acquire orbs to open doors to get to other hub worlds. There are a large number of puzzle rooms to solve to get these orbs. Your ability in The Swapper is the ability to project up to 4 clones of yourself, all of these clones are linked together, so if you move forward, all your clones move forward also. Even if that would send them off a cliff. As long as the personality you are controlling lives, all the other deaths don’t count for anything which in itself is a interesting ethical and morale question I don’t plan to get into here. But if cloning morals is something you are interested in then by all means go rent the movie The Island, or don’t as it’s not that great. If fact many puzzles require you to eliminate old clones to allow new clones to move forward. “Jerry #325! How you doing down there? Don’t mean to be a bother but can you just go ahead and walk off that cliff and fall to a very painful and final death. Here let me give you a little nudge.” I’m sure Jerry #325 would rather just say thanks for creating me and I’ll just retire to the suburbs and live out my clone life if my services are no longer needed, but no, off a cliff with you.

Cloning for profit

Cloning for profit

One of the nice features is that each of the hub areas has a number of orbs required to move on and there are more orbs available then needed. So if one room proves too difficult, and for some reason you are not familiar with a little know website called YouTube to get some help, then you can keep going at other puzzles and come back later. And up to the very last area there is nothing from keeping you from back tracking and getting every little secret completed if you so desire. Puzzles ramp up their difficulty at a steady pace with new ideas and obstacles thrown in all the time. There are lights that stop you from making clones, there are lights that stop you from transferring your consciousness to another clone, there are your typical push plates you need to stand on. All of which is made harder because every step you take, all the clones take also. “Ok, Jerry #785 you need to stand on that plate so step forward, oh god. Jerry #854 not you. You keep still. Just what the hell are you doing Jerry #95425658545754?” It adds a nice depth getting everyone at the correct starting spot so each little jump and push ends up meaning all the clones are just where you need them to be. It’s not uncommon to get to a new room and know right away what you are supposed to do and it still taking you some time to figure out how to get the timing just right so that you can actually do it.

Colored beams are about the only color

Colored beams are about the only color

The areas look nice but besides the colored lights that make up the obstacles the game is a very drab and boring shades of gray. The story plays out as you go through the game in a series of terminal notes that you read and interactions with another NPC that is on their own journey. The actor of the NPC is fine but it’s one of those weird silent protagonist stories that no matter how amazing or horrifying the situation is the hero never says a single word. I can forgive it here as the story to second to the puzzles and the interactions are short and to the point.

Overall The Swapper is a fun puzzler that does some very unique things. The length will definitely be determined by either your amazing puzzle mind or the fact that you leave YouTube open on your computer. And I would say you are doing the game and yourself a disservice if you YouTube your way through The Swapper.

1) Good range of puzzles
2) Unique puzzle experience

1) Fairly short
2) Drab graphics